In All Thy Ways

"Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain."
A proverb I came across recently. Providential timing, eh?
Begs the question, just how wise do I really want to be?
Am I strong enough for God to teach me anything else?

In all thy ways, acknowledge Him and He shall make thy path straight. Prov 3:6

Even if our paths are glittering trails across a dawn sky, we have such promises with which to rejoice.  We should not fear His instruction, even His chastening, for it gives evidence we are His children.

For He shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. Psalm 91:11

I think sometimes a lot of knowledge simply gained by human study instead of through "suffering" can be a dangerous thing:  I know my Bible well enough to know that Jesus refused to be tempted by that verse when the Devil presented it.  Unfortunately, I stop marvelling at it right there.  If Jesus "didn't need" to access that, then neither do I.  I want to be like Jesus.  Really?  Do I actually believe that way?  I think maybe I do.  What if I saw that verse outside it's later contextual use?  I might feel a more appropriate level of appreciation for all those angels streaking across the sky on my behalf!
I don't know why these things feel like a prelude to this post.  I haven't even read over what today's old journal entry will reveal.  Time to find out:

August 20

[The discernment retreat and task force meeting late in July at our church launched a plan for creating contemporary service offerings at our church.  In 2002, such a thing was not as commonplace as it is now, and few really knew how to incorporate such a thing into a traditional church setting.  We'd already made a stumbling and ultimately failed attempt at a night-service offering, but still felt God was calling us to some sort of move in this direction.  Here are the particulars of our church's struggle to implement change, and the questions and differences that sprang up even between those who deeply respected each other's receptivity to God, particularly the worship leader and the senior pastor.]

WL [used in place of the given name of the worship leader] called me yesterday. She said SP [similarly, senior pastor] wanted to invoke a transitional period between what is now the current traditional format for the 10:45 service and its ultimate fully-contemporary format.  WL has a check in her spirit about that option, however, feeling more like going "cold turkey" into the newly-styled service.  She fears we'll lose the "grid lines" that our task force put in place concerning our goal for doing more than just"repackage" the current service.  [The idea of new wine in old wine skins pops in my mind as I re-read this now although I said nothing of it then.]  I can see SP's point of view, however.  We are replacing the service that the largest contributors currently attend, and not all of them feel the need for this change.  They are the "bread and butter" of the church, in practical terms, so it seems horribly impractical to put aside what is working for them and replace it with something unfamiliar, possibly unprofitable, possibly outside our competency zone as human leaders.  I know God does make such invitations sometimes.  The cliche "leap of faith" comes from somewhere after all.

Interesting that our WL is ready to make that leap.  She is far more comfortable with detailed, structured, rehearsed and scripted structure in the music, but is willing to move outside that comfort zone.  My own hope is that ultimately the structure can become flexible to us, our sole "structure" being:  the direction of the Spirit.  I think the evidence would manifest as freedom to repeat a chorus, bump up a key, skip a verse, add a song, etc.  But for such a thing to become a reality,everyone involved would have to have a sense of deep corporate awareness, worship and trust.  All of us have personal steps to take to bring us closer to each other in worship, because up to now we have been a group of individual, consumer worshipers following behind a person who leads, with that leader also governed by an inanimate structure.  Where we long to go is to a place of cohesive mass worship--all equal but with different roles and all under the cloud of God.  Only faith could bring such a change.

I do believe those of us in current leadership must pray vital prayers.  Like the spies sent into Canaan, we are returning with our "good report" but will we be heard?  Is it ever the time to tiptoe into Your will gradually? We need to know Your will, God. If we are the spies, then our report will send a lot of people either into the promised land or back into 40 years of desert life.  Help us not to weigh bounty against danger as we make our choices, but to say, like Joshua and Caleb:  "If the Lord is pleased with us, He will lead us into the land...only do not rebel...and do not be afraid of the people...their protection is gone, but the Lord is with us."  Numbers 14:7-9
[Compromise was achieved, a path laid; but that new format never wore like a well-fitting garment.  My family had moved away before any final assessment was made as to the value of the whole venture, so I don't know what the church's final assessment was, as drawn by those who remained.]

A friend who strolls with me through these old journals gave me a timely image:  watch out for what the auto-correct plugs in for you when you are waiting to hear from God.  Did we do that then?  Did we panic, flounder?  Maybe.  Would God redeem even our worst guesses at His "next" word?  I believe, absolutely!  What would the now-me say to then-me?  Try harder to wait; though the text may seem an enigma,  try to wait--don't auto correct from personal bias or unevaluated presumptions.  When the "right word" comes, you'll recognize it!  And, if the question is for Him, then consider whether He is the one you're asking. 
OK, now I "get" the verses that were ringing in my ear at the start of today's reflection.