What Is This?

So begins a blog specifically dedicated to reviewing a decade of God-time journals.  My plan is to record highlights of these journals, and maybe make current commentary in a different color or different font, that a thematic continuity might be preserved.  But it is nevertheless, a journal within a journal.  Whether it will end like it begins is far-distant from the knowing now.

The first and oldest journal I can pull from my journal shelf dates back to July 17, 2002.  I kept a journal before that, but sporadically, and  I never kept any of those books.  Even this one is sporadic as I managed to keep 3 years worth of reflection in this one little book.  When I recorded these thoughts, reflections and prayers, I sat on a different sofa under the light of a different lamp in a different town--and this has somewhat been my life-long story.  At least on the exterior, I've recreated my life scene many times over.  Maybe that's why I had the initial urge to find continuity in a journal.
This particular journal was small, covered in a mauve and dusty blue brocade fabric.  The pages were clean and bright and clearly lined.  You can tell that I began with high hopes of it putting order to my prayers and meditations, for I began with a firm and careful script and well-designated entries.  By the end, notes and cards were stuck between the pages, and large scribbles crossed through text that I wanted to change to refine its meaning. Some places a later added comment would run up the side of the margin to be near the text it expounded; but for the first few entries, all was tidy.
So it begins...

  
July 17, 2002
Today, I am beginning a new prayer journal, a "real" one, not just a notebook I got as a cast-off from the kids.  I splurged $5 to get myself this little book.
I asked Ron (my pastor at the time) in an email to read through a couple of my journal entries and to give me feedback.  Should I consider sharing some of what You give me either as a lay speaker or as a writer, Lord?  It was on my mind as I sat down to begin my Bible study time this morning.  My reading had me at the opening of the Sermon on the Mount.
"When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside.  Those who apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him.  Arriving at a quiet place, He sat down and taught his climbing companions."
And later, it says, "You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth...You're here to be light that brings out the God-colors in the world...keep open house; be generous with your lives.  By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous father in heaven."
Yesterday, Ron talked about moving away from a "consumer" Christianity to active Christ-following.  This is something he'd like to see blossom in the upcoming discernment retreat.  Today's verses are good for verifying we should do this:  when Jesus sees us gathering to give Him attention, He begins climbing, and we are supposed to make the effort to follow Him.  Then He comes to a quiet place and sees we were committed enough to climb a hill after Him...then He begins to teach.

This idea of our "responsibility" in receiving instruction and revelation (of being Christ's climbing companions--as I later came to call it) made a first appearance here, but continued to influence the way I received the balance of life and instruction from the hand of God over the years.