Picking Up the Shield of Shame...and Dropping It

I saw this verse today as a pastor friend's status update and figured it a good intro to today's post:
"But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness nor handling the word of God deceitfully, but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God." (2 Corinthians 4:2 NKJV)

April 9, 2005
If faith is a shield to block the fiery darts of the wicked one, then surely that wicked one's 'antishield' he'd have us swap out to receive is the shield of shame.  Not that healthy shame that makes you see specific sins in all their naked reality and causes you to run to redemption, but the shame that attaches itself to who you are and how you were made.  I can think of little that a man can hide behind that is so blindingly paralyzing as bad shame.  THIS was what the snake gave to mankind when he coaxed Eve into taking the apple. 

Thank You God that You make it Your mission to help us see which shield we're hiding behind and why. 

April 10
I keep seeing cardinals lately.  Everywhere.  Dead alongside the road.  On a decorative nameplate that also had a friend's name on it, on license plates of red cars.  Weird.

More academically, my old and new testament readings seemed to complement each other in an interesting way today.  I hit the Gospel story of the Canaanite woman who begged for her daughter's healing, which Jesus answered seemingly harshly before affirming her faith and healing her daughter; and I hit Isaiah 42, where the Servant is said to bring justice to the Gentiles and will not break a bruised reed.  I see the two as going together.  This woman's faith was great--especially considering her background.  Therefore, He could use this moment with her (a bruised reed) to teach more about faith to his disciples (who would surely have sent her away simply because of  the nature of who she was--that shame point again.) He knew, however, that calling her to display her faith would not 'break' the bruised reed that was her, and so the disciples learned that even someone they would not ever consider 'approved' could nevertheless receive a miracle.

Bless me, O Lord, to cooperate with You if should so desire to break molds of indifference or disapproval and shame through You interactions with me; especially help me trust that You won't break me in those places where I am bruised!


At this point in the journal, I was beginning to learn what to notice and what to record in that prophetic gifting realm. 
Seeing the cardinals--although I didn't state it explicitly--reminded me of my own association with the cardinal, a thing stated earlier in this blog, a thing that sprang from His particular transcendent use of the bird in my own life.  A cardinal for me was a sign of personal suffering.  In the future, the context in which I saw this bird would become pertinent, especially after this first introductory episode.  I knew enough to notice the redundancy.  I did not know enough to look for a 'why' behind it, so when the why came, I was shocked.  Not until later and much reflection did I come to a deeper understanding of this gifting I felt called to receive.

The person whose name I saw on that nameplate--the only actual name I saw associated with the bird--shortly after this entry was recorded had an abortion that ripped her soul with agony.  I received a middle-of-the-night phone call from her as she wept over it.  And...I stopped seeing the bird for a long while after that. 

I learned one important thing about this gift from all this:  I learned to remember the reason for having the gift at all.  If mankind 'needs' prophets, it is because mankind is in pain or is in trouble and needs to hear God speak.  Scripture says God condemns the false prophets who cry, "peace, peace" when there is no peace.  Counting the cost of prophetic gifting means realizing what it is not.  It is not abuot standing at the front of an auditorium and 'channeling' comforting words from dead relatives to the awe and amazement of a crowd.  Being a genuine prophet of God means foreseeing depths of pain and learning to interpret them and respond in such a way as to intercede with the best hope of effectiveness. 

This was one of the first lessons I received about prophetic gifting.